As the party season slowly transitions into the music concert season, there’ll be a bunch of gigs lined up in or near your city, and there surely will be a few you might consider attending, and some that you’ll actually go to.
And there will inevitably be a bunch of pretenders who will completely ruin your experience of it by acting in the most fake way possible. If you let them. Here’s a list:
The Set List Constructor
Sure, some people shout out random requests to the bands, but most times these are jokes, like shouting out “Smoke On The Water” to a decidedly unfake Bombay band known for never doing covers. What that will get you is the first few strums of the riff, followed by a polite middle-finger salute from the guitarist. Audience and band are both in on the joke by now, so it’s all in good fun.
What’s annoyingly fake is when somebody in the crowd, vaguely familiar with the band’s music shouts out the one most popular song they have. So you get to hear him shout that name out between songs, every time, till they inevitably play it as a closer at the end of their set.
Nobody knows why this guy is even at the gig. Not even he. He clearly hates the bands playing. Maybe his girlfriend dragged him to the gig, or maybe he just enjoys standing around looking bored, while people around him have a great time.
Maybe he likes to buy marked-up alcohol and drink it while being jostled around by other people dancing away. It won’t matter how much everyone around cheers, or how great that drum solo was, the hater’s gonna hate. And boo.
Sure, you’re out to see one of your favourite bands, you want a picture or two to remember the experience. Now you’re not going to be lugging around a high-end professional camera to a gig, unless you’re the official photographer (In which case, lucky you!).
So you’ll just have to make do with your lousy smartphone camera. And after a couple of attempts, you’ll realise the pictures are just a blur of light and tiny band-shaped shadows. And you’ll put your phone away, and continue to enjoy the performance.
But not the paparazzi. No way. They’ll continue to shoot pictures and get increasingly frustrated with the outcomes. Way to ruin a gig, fake paparazzi. Is your life so empty that you need photographic evidence of the only remotely cool thing you’ll do all year?
The Drunken Reveller
Now there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a drink or two while you listen to some great music, who doesn’t? But it appears that the only reason this gig-ruiner has left his residence is to partake of copious amounts of alcohol, and wobble around the venue, pick fights, threaten to/actually throw up, stumble into other concert-goers, and generally be a nuisance to everyone around.
Their fake attitude screams, “Really? There’s a gig tonight? Where? Who?”
The Sing-Along Superstar
What’s worse than someone singing along to your favourite song at the top of their voice, drowning out the band at a gig?
If that person’s singing off-tune.
And what’s worse than that?
If that person doesn’t know the words.
Now, I understand that people feel the need to sing along with the vocalist. That’s perfectly alright. But there’s no need to have your whisky-breath mouth 3 inches away from my ear, screaming the (wrong) lyrics.
My theory is that these people feel the need to fake it by singing along to every song the band does, just to try to prove that they’re really into the music being played.
(Spoiler Alert: They’re probably not.)
Article By: Viren Fernandes
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