It’s Happy Hour and you’ve just arrived at your favourite bar. It’s noisy. It’s buzzing. It’s full of interesting people you’d want to meet (considering you aren’t an introvert). With no space to sit (oh damn, you should’ve booked a table), you end up scouring for an empty corner at the bar. Perks of standing near the bar? Quicker delivery of drinks – YES! But, you know what really enhances the entire experience?
It’s the act of observing people around you who remain a constant at every bar you go to. Some of them may even be your friends! Now, we’re not asking you to avoid them – most of them can be fun at times.
But, here’s a handy little guide to help you escape the next time you find yourself in a situation outside the bathroom stall with a Barney Gumble wanting to make small talk.
Thank us later!
The Sports Fanatic
We all know this person who while watching the match, will predict the next delivery because apparently, he “knows the signs”. Wasn’t it enough that he’s already ruined your TV show for you by posting spoilers online? Jeez! Let me watch the match and find out for myself, Sherlock!
Then there’s this guy who always keeps yelling at the TV during a match. The players can’t hear you through the screen, my good friend. Everyone else is watching (or trying to) the game just like you and yet this smarty pants feels the need to talk to the players every time there is a missed six or a wicket.
We think its high-time TVs with built-in microphones were invented – just to help enthusiasts like him out!
Back in My Day
This particular breed of ‘Uncle’ can be identified by phrases like “Back in my day…” and “Remember that time when…” This person loves nothing more than telling the world about his golden years. And if he manages to get an audience to talk about his glory days, we’re sure story after story full of heroic deeds and instances straight out of a Bollywood movie will follow. This guy can be fun for a while, as he usually has interesting stories, but by the end of the night, it does get depressing – if not monotonous.
The Teetotaller Who Eats Everything
We’re all familiar with these people. They could be the ones who drove to the bar or the ones who’ve totally sworn off alcohol (even if it’s just for the month). They wouldn’t be caught dead with a drink in their hand but with food, it’s a completely different tale. While they could be forced to sip water as they watch their friends order one drink after another, they have their eye on your ‘Chakna’. In case you were wondering where that bowl of peanuts you just ordered, disappeared – look their way. Be it the ‘Chakli’ or the ‘Wafers’ leave it up to them to finish it all up. What if their current diet doesn’t allow them to drink? They always finds solace in food.
Just when you think you’ve seen them all, comes along The Philosopher. All this person can rant about is politics and deep thoughts when all you and your friends want to do is chill. Sometimes people simply don’t know or don't care enough about politics to have an informed discussion and would much rather discuss movies, video games, or music festivals; exactly what one would want to do to unwind. Discussing your views with random people you meet at a bar might sound like fun, but what starts out as a simple argument about demonetization could quickly turn into a brawl.
The Over-Chatty Tippler
A very common species one often observes at a bar is the oblivious over-chatter. This person just doesn’t stop talking – no matter what! What starts off as a humble question soon turns into a full-blown conversation, except that this conversation is completely one-sided. Try as hard as you want – check your watch, glance toward the exit or edge away from the conversation. None of these strategies help when they are completely immune to normal social cues about the conversation going downhill. Give a direct signal and get the hell out!