I might have titled this article “Things Scotch Snobs Say”, except that I’m somewhat partial towards Scotch snobs. Ah, well!
?Standard barbs in a whisky geek’s arsenal. Let’s look at a few. Here goes.
I just managed to get my hands on a rare bottle of this 30-yr old. No. I haven’t tried it yet. I’m saving it for a special occasion.
This particular Scotch goes best with water from the Lammermuir springs.
What? You want Cola with your Scotch? Why don’t you just throw it away?
This one has some earthy notes,and I’m detecting some gentle hints of wet dog.
This jazz band does NOT pair well with my drink, at all!
What is this swill? Does it come in a jar with 3 X’s on the front?
Bourbon? Never touch the stuff… It’s probably brewed by some inbred hillbilly alcoholic in his backwoods outhouse.
I think 1981 was the best year for Glen-Something’s single malts.
Put ice in that and I might have to slap you!
Oh, people who drink Glen-Something-Else are snobs. Me, I think it’s over-rated.
“So Scotch and ice?”
“Right. Actually, no ice either.”
While some of the things they say may seem ridiculous to an outsider, there’s a grain of truth and a whole lot of emotion behind everything they say.
Perhaps the best way to understand what they’re trying to communicate is to put yourself in their shoes, try a little Scotch yourself, and savour the rich heritage that comes with it. Because Scotch is after all, the king of whiskies, it has the right to be a little cavalier.
Article By: Viren Fernandes
Viren writes for food, beer and his own amusement. His interests include reading, travelling and envisioning himself as the director (and the audience) of a comedy based on everything he sees.
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