Stand-up comedians are some of the most unfortunate people on the planet. Everyone expects to put in a coin and get a joke out of them. They’re always spontaneously funny, but it’s got to get tiring. Here are 5 questions all stand-up comedians are tired of answering, with the bold comebacks they’d really like to give.
Stand up comedy is all very well. But what’s your REAL job?
Hate to break it to you, rocket scientist, but stand up comedy IS my real job!
Okay, so you’re the comic! Tell us a joke!
Do you also go up to plumbers you meet at a bar and drag them into the toilet and ask them to fix it?
Do you think anybody will actually let you marry their children?
I will change my profession right away. No family will ever accept me. I know I should have become an engineer or a doctor instead. </sarcasm>
Of course, I just eat food and then jokes come out of my gut instead of burps.
What does your family think you do?
They think I’m a hibernating bear by day, Batman by night, and a powerful God the rest of the time. What they tell people... that’s a different story.
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