Men are from Mars… yada yada yada. You’ve heard it all before. But there’s a reason we keep writing about this clash of the sexes: we do think differently. For most men, a woman’s mind is strange, alien territory but — like Mel Gibson in What Women Want — some insight into the world of Venus can be very, very useful. So here we go, offering up news you can use again. A handful of lovely ladies have kindly shared with us their perennial problems with the men in their lives and we’re presenting their pet peeves in a quick guide of dos and don’ts. Boys, if you really want to impress the girls, get with this programme!
BE A MAN: No one expects you to be a superhero, but women don’t care for mewling men at all. Sure, the universe is full of hardship, but your measure as a man is in how you handle the universe. Constantly complaining about things is a total turnoff to her, even if she doesn’t say so. If you can’t find something to like in the world, it makes it harder for others to find something to like in you!
TREAT HER GOOD: Yes, she wants equality and she takes emancipation seriously, but she still likes her man to reach for the door and show her some chivalry. She may wear boyfriend jeans and combat boots on occasion but it will serve you well to remember there’s still likely to be lacy lingerie under there!
KEEP IT FRESH: No matter how long you’ve been with a woman, make an effort to keep things fresh. Nothing works better than the occasional treat: a surprise gift, an unexpected date night, even a post-it on her closet door just to say she’s special. Small gestures earn big brownie points, so don’t wait for years saving up for a big gesture while she’s left feeling unloved. PS: The big gesture will be appreciated too — it’s not an either-or decision!
LISTEN: Perhaps the best way to show you care is to take an interest in her life — not just in your life together. She does have a life you know. Ask how her day was and try and keep track of important milestones in her career. Stop at giving unsolicited advice, especially when it is controversial or contrary to her opinion!
CARE ABOUT HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY: She’s most likely adopted yours, but you’re still holding out. If you really care about the woman you are with, make an effort with her family and friends. You don’t have to ask her mom to move in with you (in fact that’s almost always a really bad idea), but be nice to her people!
THE NEEDY NERD: Now that’s something you don’t want to be. A girl loves feeling needed… but not all the time! Work hard to get by without assistance, because that will earn you her respect. If she has to keep cleaning up after you, it is annoying and exhausting for her. On the other hand, when she knows you can do it all yourself — and well at that — she’ll work hard to please you!
ON THE SUBJECT OF CLEANING UP: Clean up! Eight out of ten women crib about how guys leave a trail of laundry from the door to the dressing room when they get back home from work. Don’t leave your sweaty gym gear in your bag for a week — the laundry basket exists for a reason. Don’t bundle your socks into balls and toss them in either. Again, the laundry basket is for linen, not for basketball practice — she truly hates having to unfurl your socks before she dumps them into the washing machine. Wash up after yourself occasionally, especially if you don’t have a slew of housekeepers. If your ladylove does the dishes every night after dinner, surprise her by finishing the task before she can get to it on some nights. You will definitely be well rewarded.
FINISH WHAT YOU’VE STARTED: You get what you want and leave closing up to the next guy… who is inevitably your gal. If you are the kind of guy who leaves bottle caps on the kitchen counter though you’ve taken the bottle itself to the bedroom, change now. It annoys her. A lot. When you open the closet door, shut it. If you step out of the room, close the door behind you. When you’re done in the loo, put the seat back down. And for God’s sake, don’t leave the toilet seat wet!
SMELL GOOD, LOOK PRETTY: Beauty and the Beast is literature, not life. If you want her to look good, make the safe assumption that how you look is important to her too. Contrary to popular belief, not all women care about how much hair you have. You don’t need to look like Brad Pitt for her to love you (though it would help), but you do need to befriend a nail clipper and — every so often — clean your waxy ears!
NEVER, NEVER LIE: If you get caught out on a lie, she will mistrust you forever — and that’s just nasty. Save yourself the trouble and don’t lie. If you are going to get a drink with buddies after work, say so. Don’t call it a late night at the office. Honesty is truly the best policy. If you tell it like it is, it’s very likely she’ll offer you your space and flexibility willingly. And, if you are doing something you do have to lie about, well, when your relationship is ruined, that’s on you!
Article by - Sonali Velinker Kamat
Picture credit - www.socwall.com