New Year resolution is a tradition that makes people open up and tell others about what they hate about themselves (otherwise their Facebook and Instagram filters?ugh, never mind, pictures are always screaming about how cool their life is). Most of the resolutions are made in an inebriated state and are more glib than promises made by politicians. You can hear your brain snoring as they go about telling you about their gym membership and travel plans. So, if you are already bored of the ?New Year New Me? that your friends keep on rhapsodizing, in the spirit of McDowell?s No. 1 Asli Yaari
, we are here with resolutions that are absolutely not going to see the day of light.
This is one of the resolutions that has been trifled with more than Taylor Swift?s heart. All the enthusiasm and energy instantly diminish as soon as you see the sinfully molten cheese dripping out of the cheese burst pizza. The excuses to skip gym begin at ?it?s been a long and tiring day and ends up at TGIF.? The brand-new Nike trainers get used for buying groceries and you get back to watching Romedy Now with Nutella.
No more drinks this year
This line is repeated on New Year?s Eve more than Sooryavansham on Set Max. The ones who say this line are the same people who make a peg at the first light of the 1st of January to come out of hangover. Staying tethered to this resolution is more difficult than finding humor or sense in Sajid Khan movies. So cheers to staying drunk and laughing at yourself for this futile attempt.
I will save money
This resolution and the word ?SALE? are arch-nemesis. As soon as you make you make up your mind to save up money, words like ?End of season sale? and ?Stock clearance sale? appear like Christmas lights. So you do what nature has designed you to do and click on the ?BUY? option.
I will spend less time on Social Networking websites
This one is my personal favorite as it has less success ratio than North Korea?s space program. No matter how much you try and act mature, somewhere down inside, you still want to stalk your ex and prove that you are living a better life than him/her. So stop lying to yourself and upload those drunken group selfies you took at the New Year party.
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